When life catches you off guard.

I don't blog very much only when something touches my heart to the level that I feel I need to share with the rest of the world. Well recently I have had something happen in my life that I was fully unprepared for. When my mom passed away I was equally unprepared for that situation. But that my something purely emotionally that I had to walk through but this is something different.

I have been diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ which basically means stage 0 breast cancer or precancerous cells have been found that if left untreated could turn into tumors and eventually spread to other parts of the body.

I knew when I went for my first ever mammogram that they would review it. But I thought everything would come back all clear so I could  move on with my life. I figured I would be done until the next year. I didn't even stop to think about any other outcome. So when I got a call from the doctors office telling me they found something unusual that they needed to scan some more - it caught me off guard. But I was reassured that this happens often and it was nothing to worried about. They told me I had calcifications which can occur without being anything to worry about but they needed to check to make sure it was indeed nothing. So with only a little anxiety I went for the follow-up scans. After two more scans they said they needed to magnify the area.  So I had two more magnified scans and then the radiologists came in. I knew before she even spoke that something was not right. She said they had found 2 areas of micro-calcification that looked very unusual. She further said they need to do a biopsy on these areas to determine if they were benign or not. She handed me a card and told me the surgeon's office would call me and schedule and appointment. With lots of anxiety and fear left that appointment and cried all the way home not knowing what the future might hold and not sure what it all meant.

Next I went to the appointment with the surgeon and he studied the scan and also concluded that I needed a biopsy to determine what kind of tissue we were looking at. Though the biopsy he assured me that we would know what it was. I really at this point wanted to do the biopsy because I needed to know if it was something that needed more treatment. I wanted to know what I was facing.

I went and had the biopsy and then a few days later I returned to the surgeons office. My husband came with me to the appointment. And I am so glad he did because the diagnosis the doctor gave me was not what I wanted to hear. It was then I was told I had ductal carcinoma in situ. I knew basically what that meant even before I really knew what it meant. I HAD CANCER.

What?????

How was this even possible? How could I have cancer?

This was far from what I wanted but it what I have been given. And I choose to continue to pray, to continue to praise the God who made me , and continue to trust that God is in control and knows how all this will end.

Isaiah 40:31New International Version (NIV)

31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 43:1-2New International Version (NIV)

Israel’s Only Savior

43 But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.

My HOPE is in the LORD..not in doctors or in men.