The Waiting Game

I don't like to wait.

When I go to Walmart or the grocery store I try to pick the shortest checkout line so I don't have to wait that long before it's my turn. I don't like red lights because you have to wait until it turns green before you can go and continue on your journey to your destination however close or far that may be. No one that I know of likes to wait. The worst thing I can tell my kids is you have to wait to get what you want. They would rather me tell them NO than wait. Something in our spirit hates to be told we have to wait. I would rather get it over with if it's bad or move on to the next good thing not be told to WAIT! 

 There is just something disturbing to be told that you don't have control of this situation and you need to wait for the proper timing before you proceed.

                          WHAT???

Don't you know that I am the queen of my life. Don't you understand that I don't want to wait. Don't you see that I need to live life at break neck speed in order to really enjoy the life that is flashing before my eyes as I speed through life.

But so often that is just precisely what God tells me......is wait. Wait for my timing. Wait not yet. I will give you something better if you will just wait for Me to move and perfect this moment.

God has the viewpoint from high above the situation is am currently living in.  He sees it from His heavenly eternal presective.  As the saying goes "you can see the forest for the trees." I can't see beyond what I am living because I am living it. It is so real and so in my face that I can't see the things in life that will come next only what I am currently in. But God can not only see my "forest" He can see the "forests" of all those around me. He sees what I cannot. He knows what I don't. He knows that what I ask for today may not be the best idea in days to come and on future tomorrow's.

It's just like when my kids ask for ice cream for breakfast. They can only see that ice cream tastes good and they like to eat it. But I can see that all the sugar and no nutrition will mean they crash later. Could mean they act hyper (in the case of my son when he was youger) and result in  them getting in trouble for misbehaving. It will also mean poor nutrition for their body if they are allowed to eat it too often. And possibly disease or sickness down the line if their body can't get the proper nutrition on a daily basis. But they don't see all that. All they see is - I want ice cream and it tastes good!

But my Good Good Father knows what I need today as well as tomorrow. And in His infinite wisdom He sometimes tells me to wait.

Well I am in a season of waiting and moving a little and then waiting some more. This is a very slow process getting tests and waiting for results. Hearing the results and then praying and waiting to decide on the best way to proceed forward. But mostly waiting. I have some many things that I need to do. Things I see on the horizon but I can't do them yet. I have to wait for the proper time. It's like when I ship approaches the shore. You have to wait for the proper time to drop the anchor, turn the ship as you approach to not hit the rocks, realease the walkway on to the shore and finally allow the passengers off. If you do it in the wrong order or too fast and get ahead of yourself you will be in a mess. God knows this about our lives too. If we go too fast or get things out of order then we can end up with a mess. God's timing is always the proper timing. Even when it seems so slow to us.

God really is.....working all things together for our good.


And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/rom.8.28.NKJV


Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I Peter 5:6‭-‬7 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1pe.5.6-7.NKJV

He is a good father who in His time will give you what you need and nothing less.

Nothing compared to what is to come!

Jason Gray - Sparrows

You can't add a single day by worrying

You'll worry your life away

Oh don't worry your life away

You can't change a single thing by freaking out

It's just gonna close you in

Oh don't let the trouble win

You may feel alone

But you're not on your own

If He can hold the world He can hold this moment

Not a field or flower escapes His notice

Oh even the sparrow

Knows He holds tomorrow

Lean in and it's hard to miss

Everything can change

When you make it His

Oh He wants to carry it

Carefree in the care of God

When you let it go

You'll find that He's enough

Oh you never leave His love

You don't walk alone

If He can hold the world He can hold this moment

Not a field or flower escapes His notice

Oh even the sparrow

Knows He holds tomorrow

There's not a single star that's out of place

There's nothing broken He can't remake

If you long for hope when you're afraid

Oh look at the sparrow

Look at the sparrow

If He can hold the world He can hold this moment

Not a field or flower escapes His notice

Oh even the sparrow

Knows He holds tomorrow

Even the sparrow knows

He holds tomorrow

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18 NIV

This present suffering is just that only in the present. But in the whole view of my life it is only a bump that lasts for a moment. Am I induring a season of suffering? Yes but this too shall pass. This hardship is nothing compared to the wonderfully joy and beauty I will one day experience in Heaven. God is giving me the grace and peace to walk this bumpy road with Him. He knows what tomorrow holds not just in my lifetime but in all the lifetimes to come after me. 

Yes I have cancer but yes they caught it really early. Yes this is going to be hard but not as hard as it could have been had we not found it so early. 

So I really do have peace that passes all human understanding. This is a road that God will give me grace to be able to walk. And I will trust Him with all the details. I wll prasie His name even while going through this pressent situation. 

Cancer cannot steal my peace. It cannot steal my eternal life. It cannot change who my Savior and Lord are. 

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 NIV

When life catches you off guard.

I don't blog very much only when something touches my heart to the level that I feel I need to share with the rest of the world. Well recently I have had something happen in my life that I was fully unprepared for. When my mom passed away I was equally unprepared for that situation. But that my something purely emotionally that I had to walk through but this is something different.

I have been diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ which basically means stage 0 breast cancer or precancerous cells have been found that if left untreated could turn into tumors and eventually spread to other parts of the body.

I knew when I went for my first ever mammogram that they would review it. But I thought everything would come back all clear so I could  move on with my life. I figured I would be done until the next year. I didn't even stop to think about any other outcome. So when I got a call from the doctors office telling me they found something unusual that they needed to scan some more - it caught me off guard. But I was reassured that this happens often and it was nothing to worried about. They told me I had calcifications which can occur without being anything to worry about but they needed to check to make sure it was indeed nothing. So with only a little anxiety I went for the follow-up scans. After two more scans they said they needed to magnify the area.  So I had two more magnified scans and then the radiologists came in. I knew before she even spoke that something was not right. She said they had found 2 areas of micro-calcification that looked very unusual. She further said they need to do a biopsy on these areas to determine if they were benign or not. She handed me a card and told me the surgeon's office would call me and schedule and appointment. With lots of anxiety and fear left that appointment and cried all the way home not knowing what the future might hold and not sure what it all meant.

Next I went to the appointment with the surgeon and he studied the scan and also concluded that I needed a biopsy to determine what kind of tissue we were looking at. Though the biopsy he assured me that we would know what it was. I really at this point wanted to do the biopsy because I needed to know if it was something that needed more treatment. I wanted to know what I was facing.

I went and had the biopsy and then a few days later I returned to the surgeons office. My husband came with me to the appointment. And I am so glad he did because the diagnosis the doctor gave me was not what I wanted to hear. It was then I was told I had ductal carcinoma in situ. I knew basically what that meant even before I really knew what it meant. I HAD CANCER.

What?????

How was this even possible? How could I have cancer?

This was far from what I wanted but it what I have been given. And I choose to continue to pray, to continue to praise the God who made me , and continue to trust that God is in control and knows how all this will end.

Isaiah 40:31New International Version (NIV)

31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 43:1-2New International Version (NIV)

Israel’s Only Savior

43 But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.

My HOPE is in the LORD..not in doctors or in men.