One year since cancer diagnosis - June 2016
Showing posts with label true promises. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true promises. Show all posts
Monday, July 3, 2017
Friday, December 2, 2016
Lessons Learned (Part 1)
I have not blogged in a while but here are some things I have learned as a walk this road fighting cancer.
Do you trust me?
This is the question God is continually asking me as we make our way through this maze of pre-cancer diagnosis, cancer surgery, and post surgery recovery and reconstruction.
Each step of the way I pause to question why and what the outcome will be and will I be ok after this next step. And each and every time the question i get back is......DO YOU TRUST ME?
Not the reassuring answer I would want, not the answer why but just.....DO YOU TRUST ME?
Am I a big enough God to cover you if it's not ok?
Am I in control enough to make whatever happens ok sometime in the future?
Is it going to be ok if it's never ok again?
Can I still be God if you aren't ok?
Can I still be God if you are left all alone and I am all you have?
Do you trust me - with all the details and all the circumstances and all the people in your life?
I want my answer to these questions to be YES! But I am human and I want reassurance after my yes that God hears me, and sees me. I want to know that He sees my tears and hears my requests. I want to know that I won't be abandoned by my friends, by my family, by my husband, or by my kids. You know the ok you picture in your head when you think of how your life should be to be OK. The picture perfect life where no one is out of line and no hairs are out of place on anyone head. But what I get back from God is.......
DO YOU TRUST ME?
If I love Him and if I trust Him then I have to let go and let God have control of my life and sit back and understand He may take me though some rough valleys but He won't leave me there. I may even walk parts of this journey alone but even then I am never truly alone. God always walks with me, before me and behind me.
He is with me no matter where I go.
Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Do you trust me?
This is the question God is continually asking me as we make our way through this maze of pre-cancer diagnosis, cancer surgery, and post surgery recovery and reconstruction.
Each step of the way I pause to question why and what the outcome will be and will I be ok after this next step. And each and every time the question i get back is......DO YOU TRUST ME?
Not the reassuring answer I would want, not the answer why but just.....DO YOU TRUST ME?
Am I a big enough God to cover you if it's not ok?
Am I in control enough to make whatever happens ok sometime in the future?
Is it going to be ok if it's never ok again?
Can I still be God if you aren't ok?
Can I still be God if you are left all alone and I am all you have?
Do you trust me - with all the details and all the circumstances and all the people in your life?
I want my answer to these questions to be YES! But I am human and I want reassurance after my yes that God hears me, and sees me. I want to know that He sees my tears and hears my requests. I want to know that I won't be abandoned by my friends, by my family, by my husband, or by my kids. You know the ok you picture in your head when you think of how your life should be to be OK. The picture perfect life where no one is out of line and no hairs are out of place on anyone head. But what I get back from God is.......
DO YOU TRUST ME?
If I love Him and if I trust Him then I have to let go and let God have control of my life and sit back and understand He may take me though some rough valleys but He won't leave me there. I may even walk parts of this journey alone but even then I am never truly alone. God always walks with me, before me and behind me.
He is with me no matter where I go.
Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Sunday, July 24, 2016
The Waiting Game
I don't like to wait.
When I go to Walmart or the grocery store I try to pick the shortest checkout line so I don't have to wait that long before it's my turn. I don't like red lights because you have to wait until it turns green before you can go and continue on your journey to your destination however close or far that may be. No one that I know of likes to wait. The worst thing I can tell my kids is you have to wait to get what you want. They would rather me tell them NO than wait. Something in our spirit hates to be told we have to wait. I would rather get it over with if it's bad or move on to the next good thing not be told to WAIT!
There is just something disturbing to be told that you don't have control of this situation and you need to wait for the proper timing before you proceed.
WHAT???
Don't you know that I am the queen of my life. Don't you understand that I don't want to wait. Don't you see that I need to live life at break neck speed in order to really enjoy the life that is flashing before my eyes as I speed through life.
But so often that is just precisely what God tells me......is wait. Wait for my timing. Wait not yet. I will give you something better if you will just wait for Me to move and perfect this moment.
God has the viewpoint from high above the situation is am currently living in. He sees it from His heavenly eternal presective. As the saying goes "you can see the forest for the trees." I can't see beyond what I am living because I am living it. It is so real and so in my face that I can't see the things in life that will come next only what I am currently in. But God can not only see my "forest" He can see the "forests" of all those around me. He sees what I cannot. He knows what I don't. He knows that what I ask for today may not be the best idea in days to come and on future tomorrow's.
It's just like when my kids ask for ice cream for breakfast. They can only see that ice cream tastes good and they like to eat it. But I can see that all the sugar and no nutrition will mean they crash later. Could mean they act hyper (in the case of my son when he was youger) and result in them getting in trouble for misbehaving. It will also mean poor nutrition for their body if they are allowed to eat it too often. And possibly disease or sickness down the line if their body can't get the proper nutrition on a daily basis. But they don't see all that. All they see is - I want ice cream and it tastes good!
But my Good Good Father knows what I need today as well as tomorrow. And in His infinite wisdom He sometimes tells me to wait.
Well I am in a season of waiting and moving a little and then waiting some more. This is a very slow process getting tests and waiting for results. Hearing the results and then praying and waiting to decide on the best way to proceed forward. But mostly waiting. I have some many things that I need to do. Things I see on the horizon but I can't do them yet. I have to wait for the proper time. It's like when I ship approaches the shore. You have to wait for the proper time to drop the anchor, turn the ship as you approach to not hit the rocks, realease the walkway on to the shore and finally allow the passengers off. If you do it in the wrong order or too fast and get ahead of yourself you will be in a mess. God knows this about our lives too. If we go too fast or get things out of order then we can end up with a mess. God's timing is always the proper timing. Even when it seems so slow to us.
God really is.....working all things together for our good.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/rom.8.28.NKJV
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I Peter 5:6-7 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1pe.5.6-7.NKJV
He is a good father who in His time will give you what you need and nothing less.
When I go to Walmart or the grocery store I try to pick the shortest checkout line so I don't have to wait that long before it's my turn. I don't like red lights because you have to wait until it turns green before you can go and continue on your journey to your destination however close or far that may be. No one that I know of likes to wait. The worst thing I can tell my kids is you have to wait to get what you want. They would rather me tell them NO than wait. Something in our spirit hates to be told we have to wait. I would rather get it over with if it's bad or move on to the next good thing not be told to WAIT!
There is just something disturbing to be told that you don't have control of this situation and you need to wait for the proper timing before you proceed.
WHAT???
Don't you know that I am the queen of my life. Don't you understand that I don't want to wait. Don't you see that I need to live life at break neck speed in order to really enjoy the life that is flashing before my eyes as I speed through life.
But so often that is just precisely what God tells me......is wait. Wait for my timing. Wait not yet. I will give you something better if you will just wait for Me to move and perfect this moment.
God has the viewpoint from high above the situation is am currently living in. He sees it from His heavenly eternal presective. As the saying goes "you can see the forest for the trees." I can't see beyond what I am living because I am living it. It is so real and so in my face that I can't see the things in life that will come next only what I am currently in. But God can not only see my "forest" He can see the "forests" of all those around me. He sees what I cannot. He knows what I don't. He knows that what I ask for today may not be the best idea in days to come and on future tomorrow's.
It's just like when my kids ask for ice cream for breakfast. They can only see that ice cream tastes good and they like to eat it. But I can see that all the sugar and no nutrition will mean they crash later. Could mean they act hyper (in the case of my son when he was youger) and result in them getting in trouble for misbehaving. It will also mean poor nutrition for their body if they are allowed to eat it too often. And possibly disease or sickness down the line if their body can't get the proper nutrition on a daily basis. But they don't see all that. All they see is - I want ice cream and it tastes good!
But my Good Good Father knows what I need today as well as tomorrow. And in His infinite wisdom He sometimes tells me to wait.
Well I am in a season of waiting and moving a little and then waiting some more. This is a very slow process getting tests and waiting for results. Hearing the results and then praying and waiting to decide on the best way to proceed forward. But mostly waiting. I have some many things that I need to do. Things I see on the horizon but I can't do them yet. I have to wait for the proper time. It's like when I ship approaches the shore. You have to wait for the proper time to drop the anchor, turn the ship as you approach to not hit the rocks, realease the walkway on to the shore and finally allow the passengers off. If you do it in the wrong order or too fast and get ahead of yourself you will be in a mess. God knows this about our lives too. If we go too fast or get things out of order then we can end up with a mess. God's timing is always the proper timing. Even when it seems so slow to us.
God really is.....working all things together for our good.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/rom.8.28.NKJV
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I Peter 5:6-7 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1pe.5.6-7.NKJV
He is a good father who in His time will give you what you need and nothing less.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Nothing compared to what is to come!
Jason Gray - Sparrows
You can't add a single day by worrying
You'll worry your life away
Oh don't worry your life away
You can't change a single thing by freaking out
It's just gonna close you in
Oh don't let the trouble win
You may feel alone
But you're not on your own
If He can hold the world He can hold this moment
Not a field or flower escapes His notice
Oh even the sparrow
Knows He holds tomorrow
Lean in and it's hard to miss
Everything can change
When you make it His
Oh He wants to carry it
Carefree in the care of God
When you let it go
You'll find that He's enough
Oh you never leave His love
You don't walk alone
If He can hold the world He can hold this moment
Not a field or flower escapes His notice
Oh even the sparrow
Knows He holds tomorrow
There's not a single star that's out of place
There's nothing broken He can't remake
If you long for hope when you're afraid
Oh look at the sparrow
Look at the sparrow
If He can hold the world He can hold this moment
Not a field or flower escapes His notice
Oh even the sparrow
Knows He holds tomorrow
Even the sparrow knows
He holds tomorrow
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18 NIV
This present suffering is just that only in the present. But in the whole view of my life it is only a bump that lasts for a moment. Am I induring a season of suffering? Yes but this too shall pass. This hardship is nothing compared to the wonderfully joy and beauty I will one day experience in Heaven. God is giving me the grace and peace to walk this bumpy road with Him. He knows what tomorrow holds not just in my lifetime but in all the lifetimes to come after me.
Yes I have cancer but yes they caught it really early. Yes this is going to be hard but not as hard as it could have been had we not found it so early.
So I really do have peace that passes all human understanding. This is a road that God will give me grace to be able to walk. And I will trust Him with all the details. I wll prasie His name even while going through this pressent situation.
Cancer cannot steal my peace. It cannot steal my eternal life. It cannot change who my Savior and Lord are.
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 NIV
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
For God so LOVED the world.....
LOVE.....
What does that word mean to you? Is it the romantic love between a man and a woman, or the love between a mother and a child, or the friendly love between friends, or the general love you have for other people who struggle and need help. No matter how you see this word LOVE is a word wrapped in different levels of emotions based on where you are in life and how you view the world.
For me I view this word in the light of how God views us - His creation.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."
John 3:16-17 NKJV
God loved us so much that He sent His Son to be a Holy sacrifice. To die on a cross for ALL our sins. To bear the burden of our sins so that we might have everlasting life. "Christ like LOVE covers all wrongs." (Pastor Locke)
"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."
I John 3:16 NKJV
That is an awesome love that God has for us that He would give up His Son to die for you and me. Not because He had to but because He wanted to. He pursues us because He loves us. He created us and He loves us more than a mother or father loves their child. He loves us with a perfect love that only He can provide.
This is the kind of love I should have and show others in my life. But only with God's love flowing through me am I able to flow that love out toward others.
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
I Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV
Perfect LOVE dispels all fears. (Pastor Locke) Perfect LOVE doesn't think of itself first. Perfect LOVE loves others just because not out of anything it might gain. Perfect LOVE doesn’t hold a grudge. "You cannot hold love in your heart and hold bitterness toward others. " ( Pastor Locke) Perfect LOVE bears ALL things even the very hardest things that come with loving other people. Even the messy things that come with having a relationship with other people.
PERFECT LOVE ONLY COMES FROM OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. PERFECT LOVE ONLY COMES WHEN I YIELD AND ALLOW GOD TO FLOW HIS LOVE THROUGH ME.
What does that word mean to you? Is it the romantic love between a man and a woman, or the love between a mother and a child, or the friendly love between friends, or the general love you have for other people who struggle and need help. No matter how you see this word LOVE is a word wrapped in different levels of emotions based on where you are in life and how you view the world.
For me I view this word in the light of how God views us - His creation.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."
John 3:16-17 NKJV
God loved us so much that He sent His Son to be a Holy sacrifice. To die on a cross for ALL our sins. To bear the burden of our sins so that we might have everlasting life. "Christ like LOVE covers all wrongs." (Pastor Locke)
"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."
I John 3:16 NKJV
That is an awesome love that God has for us that He would give up His Son to die for you and me. Not because He had to but because He wanted to. He pursues us because He loves us. He created us and He loves us more than a mother or father loves their child. He loves us with a perfect love that only He can provide.
This is the kind of love I should have and show others in my life. But only with God's love flowing through me am I able to flow that love out toward others.
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
I Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV
Perfect LOVE dispels all fears. (Pastor Locke) Perfect LOVE doesn't think of itself first. Perfect LOVE loves others just because not out of anything it might gain. Perfect LOVE doesn’t hold a grudge. "You cannot hold love in your heart and hold bitterness toward others. " ( Pastor Locke) Perfect LOVE bears ALL things even the very hardest things that come with loving other people. Even the messy things that come with having a relationship with other people.
PERFECT LOVE ONLY COMES FROM OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. PERFECT LOVE ONLY COMES WHEN I YIELD AND ALLOW GOD TO FLOW HIS LOVE THROUGH ME.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Beauty is only skin deep....
Beauty is a fleeting thing. It disappears before you are ready. About the time you are comfortable in your skin and confident with who you are then it starts to slip away. We are bombarded with images repeatedly telling us what we should look like and how we should act. But we repeatly look in the mirror and are repeatly disappointed with what we see because it never measures up to the images we see in magazines, on TV or in movies. People run around trying to stop time. Trying to stop the aging process. People do all kinds of things to their bodies al, in the name of trying to capture their lost beauty and youth.
The fact is we must remember that the images we see in media and our modern culture are images based in a false reality where the real images are altered and air brushed to create false "people" who are skinnier, look younger and are more perfect than the real people they are supposed to represent. Nothing about these images is really real except that real people were used as the starting point and then their likeness was altered.
But as a child of God I have to focus on the truth that the enemy is fighting a dirty war where false images are used to degrade me and hold me down. They are used to cause me to falsely view my real worth and see myself as less valuable and less beautiful than I really am.
Now I am not trying to say I should inflate my worth beyond what is true. Nor should I value myself more than others but I also should not see myself as less valuable than others either.
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Psalms 139:13-14 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/psa.139.13-14.NKJV
"Inner beauty is inside each of us. We are all beautiful in God’s eyes as we are created in the image of God. God doesn’t make junk. However, many people don’t feel beautiful inside. We are often smothered by a lack of confidence and even a lack of acceptance of other people. It is easy to compare ourselves to others especially when we compare our outward appearance. God’s word makes it clear that we are all beautiful to Him. Beauty isn’t just reserved for models and Hollywood actors and actresses. You are beautiful. Read the following scripture passages and let God heal you as you come to the realization of how much God loves and values each of His created beings. Beauty is more than skin deep. One interesting thing is that the love of another person will often make us feel beautiful. When we have the love of a spouse or our family member we will feel accepted and better about ourselves. When there is a lack of love in our lives, we often feel alone and isolated and even depressed. That is one reason why people are often drawn to the Lord God. God is love. It is what He is. No matter how alone we feel in this life we can always know that God is there for us and He loves us the way we are. Maybe today you are feeling alone and depressed. People have let you down in your life and you don’t feel any inner beauty. Turn to God today. He thinks that you are His masterpiece and He loves you. Embrace Jesus Christ today. Praise Him!!!"
Quote by: Bible Verses About Inner Beauty: 22 Awesome Quotes by
Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Genesis 1:31 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/gen.1.31.NKJV
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
I Peter 3:3-6 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1pe.3.3-6.NKJV
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord , she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:30 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/pro.31.30.NKJV
The Lord has opened my eyes to the truth of who I am. He has opened my heart to who I am and helped me come to love myself not just the outward appearance but also the inner parts of me that make me who I am. My prayer is that just like me that God will open your eyes to who He sees you as. That He will open your heart and that you too would also come to love yourself.
I am a child of the KING and that makes me precious and loved!
Lord I pray that you would allow me to have eyes to see the truth of who made me to be. Give me a heart to love myself and have an even greater love for those around me. Lord give me your eyes and your heart to impact those around me for you. Allow me to be a mirror which reflects You so that through me others are drawn closer to You. Lord I ask that anyone who might read this post would see You and yearn to know You. Through this that they would also come to know themselves as you see them and not as the world sees them.
Amen
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