The Legacy I Want to Leave.....

We have done our children a disservice by making them think that the world revolves around them.
Allowing them think that they must have our (parents) attention 24/7 in order to be happy and satisfied.

I just watched a 13/14 year old boy repeatedly demand the attention of his mom while she was trying to have a meeting with two other adults. Sad that this boy didn't have any manners or social skills in order to engage with the adults. He only wanted his mom's full attention focused on him and him alone. And she repeatedly allowed his loud requests to dominate her attention over the adults she was meeting with. Very sad commentary on how we are raising the next generation.

Far too many self-centered,selfish, and narcissistic children are raised in selfish narcissistic homes and grow up to be self-centered narcissistic adults. This is not the kind of world I want my children to grow up in or the kind of adults I want them to grow into.

I want to raise my children to be loving and caring to others. I want to teach them the manners of proper communication and how to engage in conversation with others not just demand attention. I want to teach them to see the value others. I want them to reflect the love of Christ to everyone that they come in contact with. I want to be the kind of example for them that allows the love of Christ to flow through me so I show love, mercy and kindness to whom ever I am around. I know it might be naive but I want my children to be a living legacy of improving the lives of those around them not just focusing on how the world can make them happy as they move through life.


Therefore if there  is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be  done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/php.2.1-4.NKJV

14 Let all that you do be done with love.

1 Corinthians 16:14New King James Version (NKJV)

The saddest day of my life....

The saddest day of my life was one year ago this month. It was the day my mom passed away. It was a day I always knew  would one day come. I thought I was prepared to face this day but when it did I was not prepared for all it meant. And all the raw motion it bought with it.  

My mom went to the hospital two days after my birthday for what we all thought would be a short stay. But the short stay turned into a long stay. Then it turned into an even longer stay. But I had hope that she would eventually get out and return to her normal life just the way it had been before. But for some reason she didn't get better. She just kept getting slowly worse. 

The doctors tried many different things but everything they did had no significant impact on her overall health. She just slowly slid down hill.  Three weeks after she had initially gone to hospital I got a call at work that I needed to go to the hospital to meet with the doctor. I had a sinking feeling this was not a good thing. 

I came home from work, quickly packed and left for the several hour trip to where my mom lived. I headed to the hospital to wait for my other siblings to arrive so we could meet with the doctor. The doctor more or less said that moms chances were very slim and that the further into the week we went the more clear it would become if she was going to be able to recover or not. That was the longest and hardest week. I cried. I hoped. I prayed. I spent many hours at the hospital that week. But in the end she did not recover. She drew her last breath and passed from this earth to live the rest of her days in paradise with Jesus.  

I was strangely relieved at first that she was no longer suffering. Then the pain and reality of what separation and death meant settled in. That was so very hard. It felt like a bad dream. But it was not. 

I know I will one day see her again in paradise but until then I miss her so very much. I miss being able to call her. I miss being able to tell her about my life. I miss watching her with my kids as they love her and she enjoys and loves on them. I miss her being around and cheering me on. I just miss her. 

Walk by faith

Saw this on one of my friends FB pages. 

For we walk by faith, not by sight.
II Corinthians 5:7 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/2co.5.7.NKJV

This truly what I have done over the last year -walked by FAITH not by sight.

Forward in Faith

Walking Forward in Faith - devotional taken from Bible App - When God Says No

I’ve been there. I’ve prayed on my knees until the carpet permanently imprints its knobby pattern in my skin. I’ve cried out with my face to the floor, begging God to give me the miracle.
And then. And then. And then.
The “no” hit me with the breaking force of a hurricane, and there I was. Stranded on a path I didn’t recognize, headed down a road I didn’t ask to journey.
The paralyzing thoughts came, like Job’s friends, to say, “Why are you here? What did you do wrong?”
But, I believe the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I believe Paul when he writes that “affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.”
So, I get up. I shake my frozen legs. And with the power that comes from Christ alone, I take an aching step forward down this strange path. The farther I walk, the easier it becomes because my muscles grow stronger than I knew they could. At times, I still have to dig in and scale the mountainside, but the view from where I stand is lovelier now than it ever was on the easy path.


And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:3-5 NKJV   http://bible.com/114/rom.5.3-5.NKJV

This devotional is a very real and accurate description of how I felt this time last year and over the last year. I spent much of January and some of February last year praying for a miracle. I prayed for and over my mom countless times while she was in the hospital, hoping for a miracle. But it didn't come in the form I had wanted. I wanted my mom healed (and she eventually was) and back to her life (she would never return to her life the way I had known it). I wanted her safe and sound in her life so I could return to my life the way it had been before she got sick. But God didn't perform the miracle the way I had wanted. I felt like He had said "No I have a better plan." And He did give me my miracle- just not the way I had wanted.

So I did indeed feel stranded on a path I had never asked for, heading in a direction I had never wanted to go, walking towards a destination unknown.  So I was faced with a choice either stay where I had somehow landed or get up and start walking this road that lay before me. But I knew I couldn't stay where I was in a deep valley of sadness and sorrow forever. I knew I didn't want to stay in the valley of grief forever because my soul yearned for joy and peace.  Sadness, sorrow and grief do not provide a place for joy and peace in your  life. I knew I had to walk the road filled with sorrow to eventually get to a mountain top of joy. But I also knew this was going to be the hardest road I had ever walked and I didn't want to go through this fire and pain. But I had no choice unless I chose to lay down and give up in  this valley. And that is just not me.

So I stood up, tears pouring down my face, and began to walk the path in front of me. I praised the Lord as I walked. Prayed to the Lord for strength as I walked. And somehow I did walk! I walked and continue to walk this path only because of the strength God is giving me. Some days I want to stay in bed and wallow in my grief but I instead chose to get up. I chose to take some steps however wobbly they may be. But to keep moving toward the destination of one day being molded to look more like Christ and less like me. And this can be a painful process - letting go of me and my reactions and replacing them God and His actions.  I have shed many tears and prayed many prayers pleading with God to take me out of this fire and off this path. He has graciously said "no" all the while providing comfort and strength. He knew to truly bring me to place where I trusted Him and walked with Him alone He had to bring me through this fire and down this road.

But I have to say I have walked further down this path than I ever thought I could. Almost a year later I can say I am much stronger than I thought I was. Life is much sweeter than I thought it could be. I am at peace with where God has taken me. And all of this is to say that there will be other fires and other trials where once again I am faced with the choice of how I am going to respond. I can either praise Him through the pain and trust that He does indeed want what's best for me or I can  try to go it alone. I would much rather walk this path with Him than alone.

God is gracious and merciful. He has provided all that I have needed over the last year.

Thank you Lord for being my Jehovah - jireh!

Genesis 22:14
And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen.

The love of my life....

I was saved at a very young age. Some might say I was too young to really understand what I was doing that day at our kitchen table as a played a game with my mom and sister. I clearly remember that day at the age of 5 like it was yesterday. I knew what I meant when I asked my mom what it meant to be saved and what heaven was. My mom was so unsure if I really understood everything I was asking or everything I was doing when she lead me in the believers prayer as I gave my life to the Lord. She was so unsure that I was not baptised until several years later at the age of 7. She wanted to make sure that I clear knew the decision I was making.

I may not have know all I know now but I knew enough to know that I wanted to give my life to Jesus and live with him in paradise. As the years have gone by I have come to love the Lord even more deeply every year then I did the year before. There are no words to describe how much and how deeply I love Jesus. He impacts all parts of my life. Everything I do is in the light of the Lord and what He means to me.

Jesus is the love of my life. 

Everything else in my life is built on that love. My husband and our relationship is built on my love and relationship with Jesus. The relationship I have with my children is built on this love. Even my teaching job is built on my love for Jesus and my devotion to show others the love that Jesus has for them.

John 3:16New International Version (NIV)

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Reflections of the heart

Proverbs 27:19New International Version (NIV)

As water reflects the face,

    so one’s life reflects the heart.[a]

I saw this on Facebook the other day and I thought it was a fitting picture of how I see this blog. As I write and share the pieces of my heart through this blog hopefully you will see that my life reflects those things that I find important. 

God's Grace

My newest obsession is over the word grace. 


According to Webster's Dictionary:

Simple Definition of grace:

: a way of moving that is smooth and attractive and that is not stiff or awkward

• : a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving

But the Full Definition of grace is as follows:

1. 1a :  unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctificationb :  a virtue coming from Godc :  a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace
2. 2a :  approval, favor <stayed in his good graces>b archaic :  mercy, pardonc :  a special favor :  privilege <each in his place, by right, not grace, shall rule his heritage — Rudyard Kipling>d :  disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemencye :  a temporary exemption :  reprieve

To me God's grace is the unmerited mercy and favor that He pours out on us. Not because of anything we bring to the table but only because He loves us and wants to. 

He loves us and sent His Son Jesus to take our sins on the cross not because He had to but because He so loved us and didn't want us separted from Him for eternity. 

Ephesians 2:8-9New International Version (NIV)

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Romans 6:14New International Version (NIV)

14 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law,but under grace.

1 Timothy 1:14New International Version (NIV)

14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

So as a result of my understanding of the great sacrifice that God exteneded to me as His child I am trying to give grace to others in my life whenever I can. Grace is hard. My natural reaction is to be mad, seek revenge, be mean or selfish but grace says I give them the benefit of the doubt. I let them have a second chance. I allow them to make mistakes without holding a grudge or seeking compensation. That is so much easier said than done. But this is my goal for this year to incorporate grace in ALL situations. Not just the ones that are easy. 

I have this picture hung up in my living room as a reminder to let GRACE rule my home and my heart.